Poetry Bank

  1. Where You Stand
  2. Fatherless Child
  3. Dear Diary
  4. Soccer Ball
  5. God Made Me Brown
  6. One Day
  7. 2:08am
Advertisements

Where You Stand

From the curves in my feet to the base of my hands, I am my mother’s child and Ill fight for where I stand.

From the beat of my heart to the fire in my eyes, I am destined to be top achiever, my dreams will soar high.

From the fat in my stomach to the fat in my thighs, I will be someone’s model no matter which type it lies.

See, in this world, theres no difference between you and me,

us wanting to be optimistic, healthy, and free,

wanting to be a lawyer, doctor, nurse, or even Queen B.

Your dreams are not always limited to where you stand,

even if you live without any helping hands.

You will achieve higher, you will make a plan because,

from the curves in your feet to the base of your hands, you are God’s child and you shall fight for where you stand.

-Shanise Lakia

Originally created: October 29, 2013

Fatherless Child

Why do I feel so alone even when you’re standing right there?

You’re staring in my eyes but all I can see is the reflection of my fear.

Bottle after bottle, images tainted in my brain,

Daddy , did we hurt you? Did we cause you this much pain?

Infidelity in this house is too much to handle

and when I talk to you, you just intoxicatedly ramble.

We live in the same house but I feel miles away–

emotionally, physically,

to you theres nothing much to say.

I know you probably think Ima hoe cause I gave it up once

but its a nightmare I hold with me,

24/7 I confront.

Dad, if I could hate you I would definitely start today.

But Im trynna change my life and God says thats not the way.

Why do I feel alone when you’re definitely in my life,

physically not mentally,

Dad, you’re like a kite.

Inch by inch you’re floating away, you’re almost to the clouds.

I pull to me, you pull away,

your thoughts are pretty loud

and you probably don’t care that your daughter thinks she’s a fatherless child.

You yell at mom like its nothing,

like she’s just a piece of meat.

How can you live with yourself knowing everyday I cry myself to sleep?

Living with you with a daily fighting struggle.

Tried so hard to hide the scars when you hit me with your knuckle.

Hating you is not right but loving you is a sin.

Love… something you don’t know, something you can never comprehend.

If I could go back in time and pick the guy who birthed me,

you’d never cross my mind.

I would never show you mercy.

-Shanise Lakia

Originally created: September 14, 2014

 

Dear Diary

Dear diary
Let’s take a trip through my heart
So full of stitched up rips, where do I start?
Raised in Texas but I live a cold, cold life
cause only you help me when I’m on melting ice
Living with only mom cause she said dads dead
Said I found him stretched out, overdosed on the bed
But at four year old you don’t know what’s going on
So I probably thought dad fell asleep during the Cosby marathon
Day after day I go to school and get a good meal
Cause momma struggling, she can barely pay the bills
I catch the bus every single day
Cause daddy use to steal cars so you know how that go
she didn’t have to pay
I really wanna help her out but she doesn’t want me involved.
But I mean how can she get out of a situation that’s impossible to solve?
Dear diary,
Let’s go back to the best day I never had
It was so amazing until I stepped out on the grass
I inhaled the fresh blue air
Having no idea the suffer I would bare
As I looked in the distance I saw him standing in all black
Looking like a zombie who was ready to attack
I sped walk for a few blocks and saw that he disappeared
Walking past a construction site, I was grabbed by my hair
I was so full with confusion, and he was filled with lust.
He began to take every part of me, holding my mouth when I began to cuss.
Tears like elegant crystals danced down my face,
I pierced his soul with my sharp look of disgrace.
I was suddenly captured, no possible way to escape.
I wondered if I deserved this, was this really my fate?
I stood at that construction site so bare and exposed.
I keep replaying that moment of my life cause the rest has nearly froze .
This situation is a roadblock, it’s hard for me to evolve.
But I mean how can I get out of a situation that’s impossible to solve?
Dear diary,
My whole life has been a lie.
I knew this when my mom said me and that devil had family ties.
How could she lie to me all these years?
Pretending he was dead, when he really left and disappeared.
Was she ashamed that she loved him?
Did she not want to break my heart?
When was the lie going to stop, but wait, when did it start?
Was he a dead beat? Am I a bastard?
Or did she push him away?
I need some answers!
How could he do this to me?
Hes suppose to be my hero and make me feel free.
Pick me up when I fall, wipe my tears when I bawl.
But he’s the one who pushed me, and he made me cry.
He knocked my faith down, when I called out to the sky.
Daddy, why did you hurt me? Did I cause you this much pain?
From taking the only stability in my life, what did you gain?
You’ve fucked up my life, what am I to do now?
My mind is tangled and convolved…
But I mean how can I get out of a situation that’s impossible to solve?
– Shanise Lakia
Originally created: May 15, 2016

Soccer Ball

The soccer ball was a zebra and I was the predator
It stood still , shaking from trepidation as I hungrily eyed it.
With each blow to the skull from my foot, the soccer ball pleaded for mercy–
I showed it none.
Bestial was I as I rapidly chased after it .
It ran from me in fear.
It was a damsel in distress and I was no hero.
The soccer ball kangrooed around, trying to maintain a safe distance away from me.
(inspired by my best friend Etson B.)
– Shanise Lakia
Originally created March 2, 2016

God Made Me Brown

My thighs are so thick, my hips are too round.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but God made me brown.

My hair is too short, it’s curly all around.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but God made me brown.
I talk too proper, I don’t look how I sound.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry but God made me brown.
My skin is too sun-kissed, so they look at me up and down.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but God made me brown.
I’m sorry if my skin intimidates you when I’m not even making a fist.
To this prejudice society, I will never submit.
We made the land we walk upon, it has been stolen from our own.
Snatching my people from their motherland,
there’s no one to claim the throne.
I’m seen as a threat although I am unarmed,
my skins a murderous weapon, so I guess I MUST inflict harm.
My chocolate is supreme, exotic in every way.
I sparkle everywhere, gold pumping out my heart, as my curls begin to sway.
We wear our ancestry daily,
Our body is a temple, some form of ancient art.

Nappy hair, dirty, poor, I’ve heard it all before

Judging me in 2 point 5, calling me Tubman before I walk through the door.
Ill never submit to society, no matter how good it may sound.
I am sun bathed, I am royal, I am astound
and I am not sorry that God made me brown.
– Shanise Laki
Originally created June 15,2016

One Day

I really wish I could say I love the country I was raised in.
When here, death is more expensive than a Winter break vacation.
Are we dying to live, or living to die?
How can we reach for the stars when only the rich can fly?
Am I living in misogyny?
When hatreds not based off personality but solely off biology.
When will our differences help us strive
instead of being reasons to die?
One day we’ll take our country back,
we will be back on top!
Our love will multiple only when the discrimination stops.
– Shanise Lakia
Originally written September 14, 2016

2:08am

It’s crazy how I use to try to dodge you left and right,

now I’m thinking bout you, wishing that it was you who’s by my side.

Use to dub you cause I thought you were alittle crazy up inside,

now I’m goin crazy hoping, dreaming that you will be mine.
You treated me like a queen, but I did you dirty, did you wrong,
scared of manners, cause niggas caused me pain for so damn long.
You were so sweet, so kind– it shocked me for a minute
cause all the hood guys I dated with was only half way in it.
Only half way wanted me, gave me half way respect
and many only wanted me for some half ass sex.
But you was different, you wasn’t them, you was unique.
You wanted to know me, and what I could do intellectually,
and not what I could do between the sheets.
But I messed it up because you was different from the norm,
I ran away, to find men who knew how to conform.
Conform to the stereotypes of what it means to be a man & black.
It means to do drugs, fail school, disrespect women, and never part from your strap.
You know what?
Karmas a bitch.
You said you hope he breaks my heart,
you said Ill never find my niche,
but ironically everyday from you slowly tears my self apart
and no matter how hard I try, I dig deeper in this ditch and now Im back to the start
Its crazy.
I want to be your girl and hopefully give you what you need
but how can I say that when I pushed you far from me.
Pushed away from you, from us, from true happiness.
Now Im craving you, like a bear gone ravenous.
Can’t grapple this.
Chasing niggas who only tried to mack with this.
Satisfied my body, can’t stimulate my brain,
nor acknowledge my pain, so what was there to gain?
One day we started talking and it felt pretty good
to see I was wanted by a man who wasn’t raised by the hood.
You told me Ill be yours and you loved to see my smile
Late night calls, always had me up for awhile
But it was all a game.
You won.
See you told me there was no one else and you only wanted me.
You told me in the future that you and I is all you see.
Some time passed, and I was feeling ya.
Wanted to take it further, and build with ya.
Randomly you ended it and wanted to be friends.
I wondered did you act this out all for revenge?
Lying to my face, miss me with that propaganda shit
You said you cannot handle this but really? Is that it?
You said you have a lot on your plate but I can lift the load
cause if you really wanted me you would just try to take it slow.
But instead you ran away like a cowardly soldier.
But honestly, I kinda don’t care cause I still wanna hold ya.
– Shanise Lakia
Originally written: December 28, 2016